Amazonas s a Brazilian BBQ restaurant in Plaza Fabrica de los Cangrejos, Nerja, and having been extremely impressed with a similar establishment in Plaza Mayor, Málaga, I decided to take my guests for a meal at this one to check it out.

I must admit I had heard the odd negative murmur about the place but decided to put it down to bad luck or the like. Can happen anywhere.

The concept is superb. A leisurely meal where a regular flow of meats is brough and carved at your table, this continuing until you (inevitably) surrender. In Málaga there s a wooden block on the table which you turn from green to red to indicate to the waiters that you are ‘stuffed’, which is another good idea.

So much for the concept. The first difference was that the various cuts of meat arrived rather swiftly, one after another. Sometimes there was hardly time to pick up a fork before the next one was upon you. We put this down to the season and the desire to get as many people in and out n the shortest possible time, understandable to a certain degree.

There was chicken, ham, cuts of pork, sausages, turkey, lamb and beef.

After a couple of rounds we all commented that all the meat was incredibly salty. Not just salty – and there were those amongst who like a lot of salt – but almost like ‘how about a bit of meat with your salt?’.

There might have been less if one had swallowed a mouthful of water whilst taking a dip in the Dead Sea. Still, we carried on.

We all had to return a couple of servings as the beef was blood-red and stone cold, no evidence of it having been anywhere near any heat. Had there been a vet in the house, he or she (the lengths you have to go to now to avoid being called sexist by the permanently outraged) could probably have brought it back to life.

The raw meat was taken away to be cooked…but never reappeared.

Mentioning the ‘salt’ issue to the owner/manager turned out to be a bad move as he began a long rant about the four restaurants he had owned. He came back several times to continue his rant. He did, however, relent ever so slightly at one stage having (I believe) spoken someone in the kitchen and did sort of half admit that ‘maybe’ something had gone wrong.

It was sufficient to prompt him to bring over a complimentary glass of Cava!

Beginning to bloat and hearts pounding we bade our farewells and left. With hindsight, of course, you just stop eating rather than continue in the hope that the next serving will be less salty (and cooked).

Three out of four had upset stomachs the following morning and I was awake, refreshed and raring to go at 04:30. It took two days to cleanse our systems and no-one could face putting any salt at all on any food during that time.

Again with hindsight, I should probably taken more heed of those negative murmurs. Needless to say, Amazonas is not a place I will either be visiting again or recommending to others. However, I still recommend the one in Málaga.